Regrets

It's personal. It's intimate. It's negative if you want to look at it. Things that always get wrong no matter how you look at it. And you ended up saying something awful and infuriating.
Playing blaming games are easy. Finger pointing are more easier. It's how you handle it matter the most. And for most of the time. It wasn't good.

Sometimes we utter things we weren't supposed to. Then we regret it.
But things got complicated when it comes to it. Pressured and squashed in between. There are times I regret thing I've said. Always I wished I wouldn't have said it.

....., by swallowing evil word unsaid, no one has ever hurt his stomach.

Why calling letters always caught my attention.

When I was once a little girl. I always envy my friends who were able to go classes. Some of my friends would tell stories of what they learnt at those classes. Gymnastics, mandarin language, English class, chess, swimming, arts.

And my inside was swirling and torn. How I wish i had that chances too. It would be so nice.

Since then, when I was still in Uni. I love going to seminars, colloquium, courses,extra curricular. I like to be with friends, being in class, in Hall or whatever. I loves the vibe that the speaker brought. I guess that really made me who I am today.

Now that I have kids, still i love seeing my kids to go to classes. but, circumstances are..kids are not mine alone. But hey, kelas mengaji also one of it right. 

Hoping and still, my kids wouldn't feel what I feel. For I have done my best in my capacity to give it all to you.

Cerita semalam.

Ini cerita semalam.
Alkisah pergi ke Billion.
Jalan konfiden. Langkah laju, kemas, tepat. 
Tapi mata pandang adik pegang penyapu. 
Sekali...gedegang!!!
"Ya Allah..kak..."
Pastu kami gelak sampai Tak kuar suara. 
Mata melilau tgk atas. Cuak kot Ada CCTV.

Perasaan?

Pernah Kau rasa penat? Sampai rasa mahu lari ke hutan?
Aku pernah. Beberapa Kali. Meltdown bila Tali terputus.
Kau tahu apa rasa jadi aku? Semua orang mahu aku kuat. Well kuat itu subjective kot.

Aku perasaan nya sekarang
Rasa seperti keseorangan
Hilang pegangan yang selama ini aku rasa Ada.
Sepertinya dunia berkecai seribu
Hati jadi debu kaca yang Tak mungkin bercantum. Dimana semua yang aku Ada. Hilang.

Hai blog, lama Tak jumpa. Aku sedang sakit. Sakit amat. Sakit dalam dada. Kau tahu Tak? Kenapa Tak Tanya kabar yer. Seperti selalu...

Aku...sedih. sentiasa kesedihan. Sentiasa sedih. Dunia...apa lagi yg Kau mahu.

salah dan salah

   when you are wronged
or 
you have been wronged
dont
be sillence
may it to friends
or
family
talk.tell.but not yell

#notetoselftoo

fight that dam* virus

so...
last week all 3 were down due to fever. yasmin was complaining of pain in her mouth. i try to look for ulser inside her mouth. but she specifically told me that it hurts when she swallow her food. and...there they were. ULSERS on the throat. after 2 days nuha gto sudden fever. she doesnt complain anything about pain but her constant request of cold water made me wonder. and yes i spotted ULSERS on her throat as well. after a few days it was umars turn. it was heart breaking to see him not being able to drink anything and his screaming when he tried to swallowed anything. and the drooling too. so, being paranoid as me, i started googling. and found this

Herpangina?

Herpangina is a common childhood illness caused by a virus. It is characterized by small, blister-like ulcers on the roof of the mouth and in the back of the throat. The infection may also cause a sudden fever, sore throat, headache, and neck pain.

Herpangina is similar to hand-foot-mouth disease (HFM), another type of viral infection that commonly affects children. Both conditions are caused by enteroviruses. Enteroviruses are a group of viruses that typically affect the gastrointestinal tract but sometimes spread to other parts of the body. Normally, the body’s immune system produces antibodies to fight off infection. Antibodies are proteins that recognize and destroy harmful substances, such as viruses and bacteria. However, infants and young children are less likely to have the appropriate antibodies because they haven’t developed them yet. This makes them more susceptible to enteroviruses.

The groups of viruses that cause herpangina are very contagious. Luckily, the symptoms are treatable and usually clear up within seven to 10 days.

What Are the Symptoms of Herpangina?

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The symptoms of herpangina vary from person to person, but can include:

• sudden onset of fever
• sore throat
• headache
• neck pain
• swollen lymph glands
• difficulty in swallowing
• loss of appetite
• drooling (in infants)
• vomiting (in infants)

Small ulcers in the back of the mouth and throat begin to appear about two days after the initial infection. They tend to be light gray and often have a red border. The ulcers usually heal within seven days.

basically, all of them had that symptoms. so, to be sure we all go to the peads and guess what he said. "its Herpangina". well.... so long.....