why i like doing those 3 activities? i did most of it at school and some at other places. why??? teachers at school always asking the same questions. some comes with curiousity, some with grey sarcasm, and some with vividly wanting me doing it for them too...sooo...why?
the answer is.... that is one way i can be there but not being there. pretend that i listen but not listen. make them think that i participate but the truth is i dont even care or bother. again...there's a new question arrive. why?
again my answer is, i do not want to hear watever u ols say...ok! why??? again they made me feels down, useless, incompetent, and the list go on. once in a while is accepted. not saying that i am lack of confident. but sometimes i feel useless, incompetent and down. rasa seperti tidak berguna...even if i die today, world wouldnt change a bit. people would be less miserable with me being around. owh...people will always be people...for whatever reason we have to accept it. not to whine and not to be dragged along. why...?? because we are for what we have done before.
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