at first, my husband pick up this book from the bookshelf. he read it for a few pages and handed it to me. with remarks "i've read it for few pages and i still dont know what the story is all about. well...let me remind you all readers..the author is women, the main character is women though they have the other male character, the language itself was decorated for women therefore my dear husband, i understand you.
however the experiance for me was quite different. i found this book quite fascinating beside the slow storyline. at first i felt that it is like reading a book with beautiful language with no story. but..after pages i felt drawn to read this book. it feels like i was in the same room, experince the same intense, listen to the same music.
okay....as prove 1. i do ask my S.I.L to google harpischord for me. 2. out of curiositycoming from the book i youtube harpischord with bach. 3. i feels like playing the recorder (maybe can ask music teacher in my school to teach me...)
star ***

no and yes

have u ever say 'no' when inside your heart you are craving to say yessssssssssssss.....hahaha but for some reason you still have to say no... okay i know its hard to understand. let me try to make it simple by giving example. back during our college days...some friends would invite other friends to join them on their date....can you imagine? okay...let say you want to go out because of boredom but you have to say no. why? "girl...ur boy wants to go out with you...not us".
nanti i jadi spotlight plak. same goes when things go the other way round. when you and your friends planned to girls outing and suddenly one of the friend show up with the bf...spoil2!
up until today...i will always keep in mind how that 'spoil' feeling. and i always remind myself not to do that to others. because initially you will end up with no one.
so...in order to keep you out from being the friends (as mention above) i'll say no. but know that is not what i meant at all. and it goes to everybody around me...my brother (who ask me to go with the family), my mum (who ask me join when my aunt ask her), my teacher friends (who wants me to join when other friends personally ask her for drinks), my hubby (who knows that the friend ask him outing for boys matter) and the list go on.....

gunting2..tampal2...colour2!

why i like doing those 3 activities? i did most of it at school and some at other places. why??? teachers at school always asking the same questions. some comes with curiousity, some with grey sarcasm, and some with vividly wanting me doing it for them too...sooo...why?
the answer is.... that is one way i can be there but not being there. pretend that i listen but not listen. make them think that i participate but the truth is i dont even care or bother. again...there's a new question arrive. why?
again my answer is, i do not want to hear watever u ols say...ok! why??? again they made me feels down, useless, incompetent, and the list go on. once in a while is accepted. not saying that i am lack of confident. but sometimes i feel useless, incompetent and down. rasa seperti tidak berguna...even if i die today, world wouldnt change a bit. people would be less miserable with me being around. owh...people will always be people...for whatever reason we have to accept it. not to whine and not to be dragged along. why...?? because we are for what we have done before.

suda lama tidak membaca...

owh....this cny me and my husband ke langkawi...sangat seronok dan penat. duit juga agak byk habis. neway...sampai di kedah we went to uum to submit my asgnment to dr ishak. down to memory lane jugak kot...syahdu sgt tgk uum. tringat masa2 study dulu. tensi, penat, excited, drama, gaduh, baik, sumer ader. ok...sbb time pegi tu ada ekspo kebudayaan kat Mall. so...nampak la...jln susur yang selalu sangat lalu after kuliah. from library to mall to tmpt nek bas nk blk kolej.sometimes jalan jer..well..nak citer asal lib uum yang sangat bessstttt!!! 4 storey...eh..ke 5...camtu ah...selalu after kuliah akan jalan ke library dan lepak kat situ sampai 3-4-5 hours. tgk la...buat aper kat situ? pegang asgment sket jer..yang byk ialah dok kat area novels and biblio sections. sangat2 la best, dok kat tgkat atas skali, senyap, layan buku, nothing to worry...yang bestnyer,..library uum nie leh pinjam sampai 10 books. pastuh kalo nk anta bleh drop jer...tayah masuk situ. canggih....dan sgt praktikal kalo nk mintak tlg org antakan buku.

p/s: owh...kalo rakan2 teyl masih igt..novel "the nanny" di rotate dikalangan teyl sahaja untuk dibaca di bilik kuliah time lec mengajar. tak sempat hantar ke libraryb pon kan? hahaha